The last writing exersize in my class asked if I had an emotional reaction to being asked about my ethnicity. I was a little surprise at what came out of me. Here is part of the essay that I wrote —
The other emotion reaction I have about my ethnicity causes me deep, deep shame. My country of origin, Jamaica, is considered the most homophobic place on the planet. Growing up I used to hear things like “botty-bwoy,” but I didn’t understand what it meant. I also used to hear stories of policemen turning away when something was happening to the “botty-bwoy.” This was all said with laughter around the Thanksgiving table, so I suppose that the true meaning of it all went right passed me. I’m deeply ashamed of this. This is actually the first time that I’ve even written about it. I was raised to treat everyone the way I would like to be treated. Or at least that’s the message that I received. I never understood the part “except for them.” I actually know a guy who is illegally hiding in the US for fear that his family will have him killed for being gay. (And these days it would be a awful risk to try to apply for political asylum in the US for such a reason. There is no assurance from this Administration of protection.) The current prime minister of Jamaica, Bruce Golding, is a proud homophobe. I just don’t know what to say. I know that I shouldn’t be held responsible for the actions of my countrymen, yet it’s something that I barely have been able to talk about for the shame of it. This is emotional for me. There are many reasons to be proud of my heritage. This is just not one of them.
Human Rights Watch has an open letter to Minister Golding asking him to “to express our concern that Jamaican police have again failed to protect individuals from homophobic violence.” It’s scary. I just didn’t understand what was happening as a child. This is a disgrace!
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